AMERICAN WOMEN

The portraits and interviews of American Women offer a glimpse into the varied and often painful journeys to self-confidence experienced by the brave women who came into the studio to share their stories. Before arriving, each woman wrote a brief account of her struggles with self-esteem inside a culture that often glorifies unattainable standards of beauty and perfection. Her portrait was then shaped around her experiences, with a particular emphasis on the feature or quality she loved most about herself. To celebrate each woman’s unique beauty, no hair, makeup, or wardrobe services were provided. Instead, each woman showed up authentically as herself.

This series is a work in progress. If you’re interested in being photographed for it, please get in touch.

Ray

“Life is such a changing journey. I was raised out west with a rugged ranch lifestyle. I was taught a lot of things, mainly to be strong no matter what. My dad was dark, military stern, and shaped me into the driven soul that I am. I adore him. Growing up in a cowboy’s world with no real connection to a softer side of me, I learned to break and train horses, shoot, fix things, and always had a love for motorcycles.
“Many breaks for sure but never mentally, until I reached 39-40. My world would totally change. I lost one of the best friends a person could have had and let my world spin off of its axis. I’ve always been the problem-solver, the tough one. I finally crashed so far down. But I reached to the deepest of my core, fought for what was the most precious to me, let a few things absolutely GO (like my marriage — so toxic at the end).
“Resilience. I have gained so many things by being raised with a dominate male influence. I turned my dream into my career: Harley-Davidson and everything about it! But that is what keeps my focus on my goals … dreams.
“I wouldn’t change one step of my journey. I have a beautiful daughter, family and friends … the best friend a girl like me could ask for. She knows my heart like no other, and it is because of her (she believes in me in a way like no one) that I am so resilient.”
— *Ray*

Sarah

“I have two sides to me. Most of my life has been led by the introvert, but I think it’s about time for the extrovert to make an appearance. I am making myself focus on what I enjoy doing and realizing how creative and powerful I can be. I am trying not to overthink every little detail and instead choosing to trust my instincts. It’s crazy how much happier I’ve been.
“It has always been easier to write what I feel than it is to express or talk about it in person. (In person) I tend to just go along for the ride and dismiss my own feelings, as if what I felt wasn’t as important as what everyone else was feeling. I never talk about myself long before changing the subject.
“For the most part, I always felt like I blended in with the background. Other people weren’t much of an issue. They were always vaguely encouraging when they could be. I was the problem. I remember multiple times when I thought to myself, “Who cares what you think?” and choosing to sit silently instead of interacting with anyone. I am my own worst enemy, and that’s something I’ve striven to change.
“I read somewhere about an exercise where you look yourself in the eyes using a mirror once a day and tell yourself, “I love you.” I’ve made it to the drawn-out eye contact with myself, but that’s a goal of mine that I will reach this year — and I genuinely believe that.”
— *Sarah*

Madalyn

“Classically trained ballet dancer + professional model + perfectionist + clinically diagnosed anxiety x bipolar x body dysmorphia + other skeletons in my closet + growing up in America, land of Barbie, Botox & breast augmentations = a recipe for near disaster.
“I am unfortunately embarrassed to admit the above, but it is honest and provides a glimpse at my internal struggle with self-love in terms of physicality and beyond. I cringed when Erin asked, ‘What do you love about yourself’ and all that came to mind was, ‘My collarbones … ?’ Bones … I am so much more than a slim skeletal structure society deems sexy. Deep down, logically, I know there is a plethora of beautiful places on and in my body that I do love — but I’ve been shamed into despising them.
“The journey to growing comfortable with my body is difficult, but I trudge forward. The more I tackle my personal feelings and challenge society’s irrational judgments, the closer I come to continued satisfaction. From the simple act of repeating positive affirmations such as, ‘I know what I bring to the table!’ to taking part in fine art which celebrates the feminine form, I’m finding more ways to honor myself.
“The first technique is often mistaken for arrogance, and the latter deals with the sadly controversial subject of nudity in art, but I have come to realize I must pursue what makes me happy and fall into that holy headspace of loving my body — and more importantly, what it holds.”
— *Madalyn*

Nicole

“How many women have gone into their salon and asked for ‘Jennifer Aniston hair’? Or bought flat irons and doused in solution to straighten their locks, gotten curling rods for bounce and waves. They crimp and primp and cut and dye, and they take that picture of Sarah Jessica Parker to their hairdresser and of course it never looks like them because they are not Sarah Jessica Parker — they are themselves. You have to love your hair for itself. After all, you grew it.
“I love my hair because I used to hate my hair. I would spend hours blow drying and straightening. Sprays and serums, working dime size portions of potions into every strand. Praying to the gods that by some miracle cream my frizzy mop would become that perfect, silky, shiny, just-got-out-of-the-pool, straight hair. ‘Gwyneth Paltrow hair.’ Never going to happen.
“One day, I was hating my hair so bad that I grabbed a pair of scissors and chopped it all off! And that was the first day I missed my big, stupid hair. I felt so bare and vulnerable; my hair always had my back. When it started growing, I was so grateful, I just let it do its own thing. It got bigger and bigger, and we grew into each other.
“Now, I’m glad I don’t have ‘Halle Berry hair’ or ‘Posh Spice hair,’ because I have Nicole Antonette hair, and I love it.”
— *Nicole*

Martha

“I think society puts a lot of focus on age-defying techniques and we have learned how to get rid of wrinkles, dark spots and scars. Why is it so bad to age or look aged with people but it is the opposite effect with the scars and aging of a tree?
“I wasn’t born with freckles on my face. They have appeared on my cheeks after many summer days of poorly, if at all, applied sunblock. Although I am now more careful about applying sunblock to protect my skin from skin cancer, I love the mark the sun has left on me. It reminds me of my carefree days, mistakes that have been made, and that I have lived.
“Wrinkles, scars, and dark circles are all representations of the past that can never truly be covered up. My freckles are what I love most about myself.”
— *Martha*

Julie

“When I was a little girl, I was very shy. I didn’t like when people complimented me, or being the center of attention at all.
“The summer before I started fifth grade, my mom asked me if I wanted to play softball. I was hesitant at first but decided to give it a try. It didn’t take long for me to fall in love with the sport — and the athlete in me was born.
“Being an athlete has been a huge part of my life. I’ve learned many important life lessons, from how to work with a team to how to handle defeat. It has also helped me stay healthy and confident.”
— *Julie*

Emily

“Although I’m still figuring it out, I love that I’ve recently gained more of an understanding of who I am. I’m becoming more sure of myself.
“I love that so many of my loved ones come to me for advice. It’s not that I’m an expert on any particular subject, but I know what I believe and I’m confident in those beliefs. I think that lets the people around me know that I’ll always give them an honest answer.”
— *Emily*

Kristina

“My favorite feature is my eyes. When I was little, I never drew a person without giving them blue eyes. I was always told everyone on my dad’s side had blue eyes and brown hair — so I thought it was something that connected me to him forever.
“As I got older, my weight and body have fluctuated so much but my eyes always stay the same. The funny part is that I’m legally blind — my eyes have given me so much grief the past twenty years.
“My actual eyesight is just getting worse — they tell me I might be officially blind long before I’m “old.” So, they’re a blessing and a curse. Pretty but poisoned. Oh, well.”
— *Kristina*

Kristin

“In the past, it took me a long time to appreciate myself and what I looked like. I was … assaulted a number of years ago and, following that experience, I had a hard time thinking of myself as beautiful. Looking pretty had become a bad thing because it reminded me of a lot of pain. It wasn’t until recently that I began to appreciate myself inside and out, and I began to see myself as beautiful again.
“Even more recently, I began to appreciate certain things about my appearance — not because they were particularly lovely, but because people close to me appreciated them. My red hair, for example. This feature is especially important now that I am seeing my mom lose her beautiful hair. She is super proud of my hair, and this just makes me appreciate mine even more.”
— *Kristin*

Jessica

“When I was born, my family said I was just a huge pair of eyes that exclaimed my arrival. My eyes have always given me away. If I am sad, happy, sick, or angry, my eyes always tell, even if I’m trying to pretend otherwise. They are the windows to my emotions.
“I actually have terrible vision. I’m almost legally blind! So, my eyes really put out more than they can read. I had to get glasses in first grade and my vision gets worse every year. So, my eyes are pretty faulty, but I still love them! People comment on them often – their ability to appear inviting or to say, “Stay away!” I can’t always see what I’m looking at, but my eyes will tell you what I’m feeling.
“I think it’s important to embrace flaws. Some parts of you may feel like imperfections but are actually essential to expressing who you are.”
— *Jessica*

This series is a work in progress. If you’re interested in being photographed, please get in touch.